where were you while we were getting high?

I love the holidays. It's almost impossible not to be in a good mood during the holidays. At least, that's how I feel about them this year. I always get really nostalgic at the end of the year and very reminiscent. I start thinking about everything I've been through in the past year, and the ones before it, and I really get to looking forward to the chance to start over. Last year I must have listened to "A Long December" a thousand times before New Years because I was so ready for 2007 to be over. 2008 has been just as crazy, but maybe not to the point that I'm desperate for it to end hah. I know people say it all the time but it really feels like this year went by faster than any other. So many things happened in my life this year hah. I feel like if I had to pinpoint a single year that brought about the most change in my life, this one might have been it.

High school ended. College began. I had my first legitimate, long-term relationship, as weird as the circumstances of it were. I was in love for the first time, and then suddenly out of it. Fuck, I broke someone's heart this year. That was new. Not something I'm proud of, but it was definitely different. I was always used to going to a different school from Ashley, but this year she moved seven hours away for school. The idea of her being so far away and me moving away from everyone I saw every day at school was terrifying, and for good reason. Being alone almost all the time kinda sucks. Eventually, I got used to it of course, but it's still not my favorite thing.

I turned nineteen this year. Not a very big deal of a birthday, but it's weird not feeling like I can call myself a kid anymore. I feel old most places I go, even though I know I'm not. At Chain last night I imagined myself in fifteen years or whenever I end up having a family and wondering if I'd still be going to shows with my own kids and how much they'd hate me for it hahah. I can't imagine myself ever not being in love with live music.

Anyway. It's the holidays and I'm feeling good, despite how much my life is lacking as of late. (Hello alliteration.) It would be nice to have someone around for the holidays and it would be lovely to have some friends to see more often, but we do the best with what we've got, right? That's the best I can do right now. Hopefully the new year will bring about new things and new changes within me. Happy holidays everyone. :-)