falling behind

I feel like I lost the whole weekend. I'm actually kinda thankful to have only gotten three classes this quarter, what with work and trying to see Mike whenever I can too, plus still having stuff to do at home. It's a little hectic. I need to catch up on school stuff - specifically Geography, which I'm sitting in right now lol. I really want to do well this quarter, even if three grades aren't going to do much for my GPA. Progress is progress, no matter how slight.

My bright is too slight to hold back all my dark.

It's been far too long since I updated this blog. I've been posting a lot of mini spiels on Tumblr, which there should be a link for in the sidebar, though it's not like anyone really reads this anymore or ever did. That's beside the point though, because really, this blog is more for me than anyone else. Anything I write is more for my own benefit than yours because I've always been better at expressing myself coherently and saying the things I want to say the way I want to say them when I write them down than when I say them out loud. I'm so inarticulate out loud. I get flustered and embarrassed and awkward and frustrated far too easily and then nothing comes out right. Give me a pen and paper and I'll make a much better impression. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way.

Anyway, things have been a bit crazy. I spend most of my time at school or work, some at home, and a little bit with Mike. Not nearly as much as I'd like but we both have busy schedules and too many things to do, especially lately. It still upsets me a little that so many people have such a hard time comprehending our relationship because of the stigma attached to large age differences. His age literally hasn't bothered me since the first few times we met in August. The only time I think about it now is when other people bring it up. I really haven't discussed it explicitly with many people, simply because I assume they will react a certain way.

The weather is beautiful today. I'm sitting in the Japanese garden at school now, killing time before my next class. I have a paper to write and a sandwich to eat so I think I'll do that and enjoy the crisp, clear day and try not to think about all the things that need to be thought about or done or planned out. Not yet anyway.

slipping into something more comfortable

I've pretty much tried to make my posts on this blog more thoughtful and at least semi-important regarding the topics, but I feel it's about time for a random bullshit rant.

Today the power went out for a few hours and it was sad how excited I got when it came back on. I was actually kind of enjoying just sitting on the porch with my iPod and a piece of paper, scribbling down lyrics and such, but when I heard the fan turn on inside the door, I practically jumped up. Human dependency on technology is a little ridiculous.

The other night, I think.. Monday night.. OH! I have weekend stories first. So I think I drove out to Tustin around noon on Sunday or so, caught the Plain White T's and Takota show at the block, took some sweet group pictures and said hello to the lovely boys of Takota. Ashley and I hung out with Alex Buster for a bit which was fun. He's pretty cute and a very funny person. After thatttt we went to see Vick and meet his dog Toby. I might have the order of events wrong. Pretty sure I do in fact. Oh well, we hung out with a bunch of cute dogs and saw Justin and Vick for a little bit. Went to Denny's with Jason after that. Yum yum, french toast.

Awkward side note- I was watching The Brave One before I got online and I never changed the channel.. I think some cheesy Cinemax porn is on now. Blehhh.

Anyway, I had a gas station conflict that night too. We pulled into some station and none of the easy-to-approach pumps were open and some bitch hadn't pulled all the way forward so I had to get around in front of her and back up and as soon as I'm done reversing, she honks cause she's done filling up and wants to leave. I'm not a fan of controversy but I wasn't even about to get out of her way when she didn't bother pulling up all the way, so the whole time I filled up my gas she sat there behind me, waiting.. with her engine on. Fucking dumb, but sort of ironic. She was too stubborn to move so she decided she'd rather waste the gas she had just bought. LOLZ to her. And then as soon as I got back in my car, before I had even turned the engine back on, she finally decided to go around. Soooo stupid. Oh well..

So thennnn on Monday I met up with my mom and my brother at the Toyota dealership because my tire was shredded. I thought there was some problem with the alignment but I hadn't actually given it a look and my mom flipped the fuck out. "Blah blah blah, I know you learned stuff in that class! Blah blah, you should've known, you could've had a blow out! Rah rah I'm so mad ARGHHHH." Much along those lines. Anyway, we had Togo's and got new tires at Costco and thennnn I went to the Spectrum with Justin, Vick, Ronda and Carolina. I bought a new Sarah Dessen book at Barnes and Noble, Just Listen. I drove home afterward and stayed up til around five in the morning reading the book. :) I was up so late that the first trash truck came in the morning and reminded me I needed to take out the bins. Whoops.

So anyway. Today the power went out. That was just about the only exciting event. Cinemax pornos are really really dumb, in case you wanted to know. My dad's work picnic is on Friday so I'm going to drive back down to Tustin for that and then stay the night and go to Ashley's Grandma's surprise birthday party thing on Saturday. It's actually supposed to be a big family function but it's also the last time I'm gonna see Ashley before she moves. :( Sad day. After that I'm gonna come home again and thennn go back one more time on Tuesday for a show at Chain and a bike ride either Tuesday or Wednesday I think. Yay! Summer is fun when I'm not stuck at home alone.

I don't know if anyone reads this, or if anyone that does will understand this.. but afternoon meatloaf is still making attempts at talking to me. I thought I was free but alas, I am not. :(

I really need to change the TV channel. This shit is ridiculous. The post title is kind of ironic considering I wrote that out before the program changed. Lulz.