day fourteen

I know I've said it a million times because in the last twenty years, I really have thought my family was on the verge of falling apart on many different occasions, and I know the last few have been seemingly more official.. but I'm pretty sure tonight was it. And maybe it's because there have been so many other times that I thought it was really going to happen, or maybe it's because I don't know how to feel about it yet and nothing else has really happened to make it officially "the end," but I feel oddly calm about it right now. I don't really know what to expect and I'm not sure what's going to happen next, if anything at all, but hopefully I can continue to be okay with it. I almost pride myself on that quality - being able to handle most things calmly and usually being able to stay happy through shitty situations. Maybe now is the time I'll need it most.